DRAWN TO BETTERGET THE BOOK · $47
Attracted to the Wrong People · Book 2 in the Rewired for Love series

Why do you keep falling for people who can’t love you back?

The ones who run hot and cold feel like chemistry. The kind, steady ones feel boring. This plain-language book uses real research to explain why. Then it shows you how to spot unavailable partners early, ride out the pull toward people who keep you guessing, and give someone who shows up a real chance.

Instant download · 14‑day money-back guarantee
1. SEE ITWhy unavailable feels like chemistry
2. TRACE ITWhere the attraction comes from
3. RETRAIN ITChoose people who show up
Sound familiar?

The faces change. The heartbreak doesn’t.

Hot and cold

Wonderful when you’re together. Then they go quiet for days.

They come back warm, as if nothing happened. You’re so relieved that you never ask why. And then it happens again.

In the book: why a reward that arrives at random hooks the brain harder than one you can count on.

A man talking excitedly about plans while his date listens, unsure
Big talk

Trips, plans, “one day we’ll…” Then nothing happens.

They paint a beautiful future, then go vague the moment you try to put a date on anything. You keep waiting for the person they describe.

In the book: how to tell future-faking from real intent, and why what they do counts more than what they promise.

Breadcrumbs

A text every few days. Just enough to keep you hooked.

A late-night “hey you,” a like on your photo, then silence. Never enough to feel secure. Never so little that you walk away.

In the book: the early signs someone is only breadcrumbing you, and what people who are really interested do instead.

A woman glancing at her partner’s phone as a message from his ex lights up the screen
Not really free

Still tangled up with an ex, or “not ready for anything serious.”

They told you, more or less, at the start. You hoped it would change once they got to know you.

In the book: why you try to fix them, why you fall for who they could become, and why the time you’ve already put in keeps you stuck.

The flip side

The kind one shows up on time, and you feel nothing.

They text when they say they will and remember the little things. Somewhere around the second dinner you think, “They’re great. I just don’t feel it.”

In the book: why calm can feel flat to a nervous system used to uncertainty, and what you can do about it.

A woman reading old messages on her phone late at night
The speech

“I know how this sounds, but this time it’s different”

Different name, different job, maybe a different city. The same slow dread when the texts get shorter, and the same late-night rereading of old messages.

In the book: a five-question exercise that puts your past relationships side by side, so you can see what repeats.

Same ending, different person. That’s a pattern, and this book shows you how to start breaking it.

Instant download · 14‑day money-back guarantee
A woman sitting on her bed at night, staring at a phone that isn’t lighting up
The real problem

You learned to be drawn to the wrong people

Most of us think attraction just happens. You like who you like. Some of it is built in. But research suggests much of it is learned, and what you learned can keep steering you wrong.

If love once came wrapped in uncertainty, uncertainty starts to feel like love. So the person who keeps you guessing feels electric. The person who shows up on time, every time, feels like nothing at all.

  1. The pull. Someone exciting, hard to read, a little out of reach.
  2. The hook. Warm one day, distant the next. The wanting gets stronger.
  3. The chase. You do more of the reaching, for less and less back.
  4. The ending. They pull away for good, and you ask what you did wrong.
  5. The repeat. Someone kind comes along. It feels boring. You move on.

Your chemistry was shaped by what love felt like in the past. That also means you can work on it.

A different way to see it

You’ve been following an old map. Time to draw a new one.

Attracted to the Wrong People doesn’t ask you to ignore your feelings or force yourself to like someone you don’t. It shows you where the pull comes from, so you can choose where you go next.

It explains the research in plain language, without blame. Then it gives you practical tools to spot unavailable partners early, interrupt the pull in the moment, and give steady people a fair chance.

10

Chapters

Three parts, each building on the last.

5

Questions

Line up your past relationships and see what repeats.

90

Days

Judge a new partner by what they do over three months, not by how you feel.

3

Steps

See it. Trace it. Retrain it.

Instant download · 14‑day money-back guarantee
How it works

See the pull. Trace it. Retrain it.

First

See why unavailable feels like chemistry

Line up your last few relationships and spot what repeats. Take a first look at your attachment style. Learn the anxious-avoidant trap, where one partner chases and the other pulls away, and why mixed signals hook the brain so hard.

You’ll also learn the relief test: is it chemistry, or is it relief that they finally replied?

Then

Trace where your pull comes from

Learn why familiar pain can feel like home. Spot the old stories you tell about love, like the urge to rescue someone, or falling for who they could become.

And the big one: why kind can feel boring, and what your nervous system is doing when it does.

Finally

Retrain what you’re drawn to

Spot unavailability early by watching what a new partner does over the first 90 days, ride out the pull with urge surfing and if-then plans, and date by your values instead of by how intense the connection feels.

You’ll also meet an idea researchers call earned secure attachment: some adults who had a hard start in life still become secure in their relationships. As the book puts it, your starting point is not your destination.

A quick self-check

How many of these feel true?

This is not a diagnosis. Use it to start noticing your own pattern.

If several of these sound like you, it’s worth a closer look. The book shows you how to spot the pattern early and what to do instead.

Inside the book

Ten chapters, from your pattern to secure love

The same heartbreak, different face

What “emotionally unavailable” means, why it’s a pattern and not bad luck, and the five questions that reveal yours.

Your attachment blueprint

The two dials behind attachment (how much you fear being left, and how uneasy closeness makes you), in plain language, and what they say about who you reach for.

The anxious-avoidant trap

Why one person chasing and the other pulling away makes both of them feel worse, and why these pairs find each other.

Why mixed signals feel like chemistry

Unpredictable rewards, the brain chemical dopamine, why you can want someone who doesn’t make you happy, and the relief test that tells butterflies from anxiety.

Familiar feels like home

The deep beliefs (schemas) behind fear of abandonment and the sense that no one will ever meet your need for warmth, and why a healthy partner can feel like “no spark.”

The stories you tell about love

Core beliefs, the urge to rescue, falling for who someone could become, and a simple story check to loosen an old belief.

Why kind feels boring

What your nervous system is doing on the second date with someone good for you, and what you can do about it.

Spotting unavailability early

Consistency, reciprocity, breadcrumbing, future-faking, green flags, and how to judge someone over the first 90 days.

Interrupting the pull

Urge surfing, if-then plans, dating by your values, no contact, and what to do when an ex comes back.

Learning to want secure love

Earned secure attachment, what a secure base is, how to give steady love a fair chance, and self-compassion.

Attracted to the Wrong People ebook cover
Everything you get today

Attracted to the Wrong People

Breaking the Attraction to Partners Who Can’t Love You Back. An instant-download ebook by Janice Treyway, Book 2 in the Rewired for Love series. Inside:

  • 01
    Why unavailable feels like chemistryYour pattern, your attachment style, the anxious-avoidant trap and why mixed signals hook you
  • 02
    Where the pattern comes fromFamiliar pain, the stories you tell about love, and why kind feels boring
  • 03
    Retraining what you’re drawn toEarly warning signs, judging a new partner over 90 days, interrupting the pull and learning to want secure love
  • +
    Glossary, resources and referencesEvery term explained, and the research behind each chapter
$47one-time payment
Accepted payment methods🔒 Secure checkout · 14‑day money-back guarantee
14DAY
GUARANTEE
Zero risk

Try it for 14 days. If it isn’t right for you, get every cent back.

Do the five-question exercise in Chapter 1 tonight. Put your answers side by side and see how much they repeat.

If the book isn’t right for you, email support@drawntobetter.com within 14 days for a full refund.

“Your pull is not a verdict. It’s a history. And histories can be rewritten, one small choice at a time.”From Attracted to the Wrong People
About the book

Warm, plain‑spoken and backed by research

Janice Treyway writes for people who keep ending up with partners who can’t fully show up. She explains every new term in everyday words. Every chapter ends with a summary. When an idea comes from a study, she names the researchers and the year.

It’s Book 2 in the Rewired for Love series, after Why Do I Push Away the People I Love? You don’t need to read Book 1 first. You can start right here.

It won’t diagnose you or anyone you’ve dated, and it won’t blame you. Patterns form for good reasons, usually long before we have any say in them.

Decision time

The next exciting, hard-to-read person is already on their way

Change nothing

Another electric start and another slow fade. Then another late night spent rereading old messages and wondering what you did wrong.

See the pull coming

Know your pattern, spot the early signals, and give someone who shows up a real chance. It may feel quieter than fireworks at first. Research suggests many good relationships start that way.

Instant download
Still deciding?

Questions, answered

Who is this for?

Anyone who keeps falling for people who can’t fully show up: distant, hot and cold, hung up on an ex, “not ready for anything serious,” or already with someone else. It’s also for people who feel nothing when someone kind and steady comes along.

Do I need to be in a relationship to read it?

No. You don’t need to be dating anyone, and you don’t need a label for what’s going on. You only need to be curious about why you’re drawn to the people you’re drawn to.

Is it going to blame me?

No. It treats your pattern as something you learned, not a flaw. It also doesn’t paint everyone who disappointed you as a bad person. Many unavailable partners are decent people who can’t give you what you need.

How is this different from Why Do I Push Away the People I Love?

They’re a pair in the Rewired for Love series. That book is about pushing good people away. This one is about being pulled toward people who can’t love you back. You may see yourself in both, but each book stands on its own.

Does it replace therapy?

No, and it says so. It’s an educational book. If looking back at past relationships stirs up more than you can handle alone, the book urges you to talk to a therapist, counselor or doctor.

What if my partner frightens or controls me?

This book is about partners who are distant or inconsistent, not partners who threaten, control or hurt you. If you feel afraid, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1‑800‑799‑7233 (or text START to 88788). In a crisis, call or text 988. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

How do I get the book?

Right after checkout, you’ll get an email with your member-area login. Your ebook is waiting there, along with anything else you added. It’s a PDF you can read on your phone, tablet or computer.

Is there a guarantee?

Yes. The ebook comes with a 14‑day money-back guarantee.

Is there a course?

Yes. Right after checkout, you’ll have the chance to add Drawn to Better: The Course, the companion video course. Its 23 narrated video lessons go deeper than the book, with a worksheet for each lesson and 22 quizzes. You can also find it any time at drawntobetter.com/course.

P.S. Skipped to the end? Here’s the short version. The next exciting, hard-to-read person will feel like chemistry too. This book shows you why, how to spot them early, and how to choose someone steady instead. It’s $47, with a 14‑day money-back guarantee. Start with the five-question exercise in Chapter 1 tonight.